grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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