Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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