im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
