What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize