I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
