Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
