when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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