"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
