today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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