Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

babies were throwing up all over the place

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who keeps a bong in their car??

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.

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(650): View more from California

My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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(334): View more from Alabama

This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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(716): View more from New York

You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(586): View more from Michigan

We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.

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