I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
