I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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