walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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