its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize