My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
