I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i think i just naturally attract stoners
im on a boat
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