Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
