this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
