So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
