you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize