Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
