she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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