we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This house was built for laser tag.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He passed out mid-signature
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
