Pappa wants mamma naked
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
