dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
