I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jerry, you need to find god
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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