I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize