My hand turned me down
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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