i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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