that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
