you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
