This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
