Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize