my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
