Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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