around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
