Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
