if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
