The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
