He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've blown a few things in my day
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
