I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
