Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize