either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
