bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
