bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
