she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
