What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
