dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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