you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
