Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize