I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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