I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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