guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
