I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
