yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize