My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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