like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
