It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
