TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Every concussion has its silver lining
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
