Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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