I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
