I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
