there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
