just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
