Buhtt sex?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
