we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
