no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize