I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
