I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
