I think I died a long time ago.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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